After Being Away

It’s been awhile I’ve been away. The reason can be guessed by the previous notes that I was on my thesis. Yap! After a two-year hard work, confusion, hard work, wondering and again hard work it finished.

It was a hard time but enjoyable. Maybe I can use the word “tragic” as Mondrian uses it in his writings explaining the spiritual states he relates to the creation processes of an art work. By the word “tragic” he refers to the idea of suffering during spiritual developments of the soul, carings and a kind of austerity, which is also enjoyable as it results enlightenment. So… Let me begin the sentence again…

It was a “tragic” time of my life and I enjoyed it! I learned a lot. Actually I grew up like time was running not just passing. In two years my thoughts developed like it’s been five years. Not only I found answers to many of my questions, but also new bigger questions shaped in my head, questions not so dim, but so bright that I know where they will lead me. I just love it! I wish I had enough time and facilities and the situation to go for them all. It’s magnificent! It’s like a detective searching for the clues and answers, BIG answers of life, art and human history.

Some might say I’ve become crazy and that’s an obsession I have. I don’t think so, do you? There was a time when ever I went to a library I felt some guilt and fear in my heart and I thought to myself “how many books there are I should read!”. But I do not feel the same any more. I have read a lot and now I seek the answer somewhere else. I don’t feel it’s the time I need “these” books to be read. The answer is somewhere else. I should go! Travel! Germany? Why? I’m not quite sure. Do you have any ideas? There are a lot to read, to know and to do. I should study even harder. I know I’ll be back again here and should follow the road in the motherlands, where the first big civilizations appeared, first forms of Art and religion.

I really like to write some parts of my thesis here and for magazines. I think there are interesting things that others like to know. Many friends have asked to read a copy but I think the whole paper will be boring as it follows the academic structures and includes parts not so exciting.

I just note some titles of the index here: a) The Roots of Modernists’ Spiritual Tendencies; b) Hermeticism, Zoroastrianism, Buddhism and Ancient Spirituality; c) Late 90th Century, Symbolists and Les Nabis; d) Abstraction: Overall Heritage of the 19th Century; e) The Spiritual in Abstract Pioneers.

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