Walking on the Edge

Porträt_Paul_Ranson

(A little about personal life, I’ll write about this image later) It’s been two years I’m working on my thesis. It’s about modern painters’ spiritualism. It’s wonderful but vast. Though I omitted the Surrealists, I can’t pull together all the the data, beside facing some extra ordinary facts that I couldn’t believe and it took time for me to digest them! The roots of their belief and its details just made me crazy… Can you believe that they even believe in magic forces and held communities around the subject? All detailed thoughts in occultism just made me go insane.

Now I have to finish it up in a month, accomplishing my 10 frame illustrations, too. I can not focus on any thing else and if I spend one minute on sth fun, it kills me like it’s a sin. Beside I have some issues in my personal life that really torchers me. Think I should make some tough divisions though I know it’s not the time and should focus on my thesis and get it done. But I can not help it! I keep thinking about them, getting more messed up.

The whole situation is like walking on the edge. Trying to avoid thinking about the issues which are killing me, considering the probable solution which is going to be a tough decision, meanwhile handling the huge thesis ( which is the most satisfying thing to do, by the way)… I’d better watch not getting torn up!

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